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still... shinjirarenai.. [Oct. 13th, 2003|11:10 pm]

I went to the Funeral home after work today .. how surreal to see "Kevin Duff Chapel 2" damn it was like a bad dream.

Kevin was a real 'guy's guy'.. I mean everyone knew him at work, because of his job. He worked in the mailroom / building service dept.. so he was always coming by to fix things, pick up mail = read = being essential in everyone's world..

He was a smartass - as the job seemed to require.. but in a fun way. and of course..he had the sense to marry one of the people who I worked with for 20 years and admired...

I still admire Cindy - gahh~ I think it has not hit her yet. Shoot..she is in comforting others! During a quiet second, she turned to me and said "just between you and me.. Fuck I think this sucks"

It does..

Funeral tomorrow -

I know a few of you have had this awful loss.. if you can give me any "I wish people would have done.." or "We hated when people did this" .. scenarios for you... please share

all the hugs to the sky & to Cindy & Josh down with us

[User Picture]From: pandorajinel
2003-10-13 09:49 pm (UTC)
UNless your the first person there, don't say "Oh I'm so sorry" It never made me feel any better and in the end I was just lost as to how to react to the statement. But the I'm referring to my dad. Maybe its different with a spouse.
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From: claireredding
2003-10-14 05:52 am (UTC)
For me, it was easiest when people didn't say anything but were there, physically, supporting me with a hug or a hand on the shoulder. There are so many cliched things that people say in such a situation, and they really do leave you at a loss for things to say.
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[User Picture]From: vkacademy
2003-10-14 07:19 pm (UTC)
I think any show of genuine compassion and care is going to be appreciated. She obviously knows the value of comforting others, so she will probably accept any "I'm sorrys" and "If you need anything, just say its" with grace and understanding.

I think the only No-No would be saying things like, "Time heals all wounds," and "Be strong." Because she needs time to not be strong and to grieve and be angry and let others take care of themselves.
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