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It only hurts when I breathe - - nepenthes59 [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
nepenthes59

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It only hurts when I breathe - [Jun. 26th, 2009|09:28 pm]
nepenthes59
[Current Location |Beaumont hospital]


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Since last Thursday, I started spiking a temp late in the day, it would hover just below 102 - On Monday, I woke up with a soar neck/shoulder -

I went to get a gastric emptying scan on Tuesday- & I was still spiking a temp and it hurt to breath deeply. I survived Tuesday's scans which required me to eat a meal of Nuclear waste eggs & toast - which was awful cuz I hate eggs. The eggs had some type of tasteless radioactive stuff in it to show up in the scans and I could barely choke it down - it was some omelet made with eggbeaters..uggh People seriously eat this shit? Oh did I mention I HATE EGGS. After the scan, I went to the ER because I thought I had pluracy.

crazy busy in the er - 12 hours in the hallway ... I get admitted on Tues 23rd
There are nodules in my lungs - & pesky bloodclot in my right arm - They tried to put a scope down my throat yesterday, but because of my anatomy, they were not successful Today they did it with anesthesia & good news, there is no infection in my heart.

My pic come out because of the infection -
I am unable to get TPN without it so pray for me as I rely only one hospital food It's not so bad if you can have the opportunity to request what you want - but when you get random meals without being able to fill out the menu form, it is crazy - I joked with my Mom that the dietitians are on crack. Today for dinner I got a small salad, dressing, bread pudding, a bigger salad - the hot portion was risotto with side of corn.

since my veins have been totally fried - I am now sporting the 2nd IV in my foot..........shit, that hurt like mad

Yesterday was spent watching CNN - the last vinyl album I ever bought was "Thriller" I hope Michael is finding some happiness that he couldn't seem to find in life - he was a freakin genius, for sure. My heart hurts for his family -

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Comments:
[User Picture]From: itsumademo
2009-06-27 01:51 am (UTC)
My thoughts are with you, love.
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:11 pm (UTC)
((hugs))
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:11 pm (UTC)
*chu*
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[User Picture]From: hydeist_wannabe
2009-06-27 04:49 am (UTC)
...i think they taste good when made eggy-in-the-basket style (with cheese!)...but i don't think even that would've pleased you :S i hope you manage to get a decent meal choice - when my dad was in the hospital all he got a lot of random stuff because it kept irritating his stomach :S
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[User Picture]From: freaky_rara
2009-06-27 06:20 am (UTC)
I am so sorry you are back in...I wish I cold send you a card and some sunshine....I am sending you huge hugs.
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:12 pm (UTC)
Thank you!
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[User Picture]From: theskyiscrying
2009-06-27 07:08 am (UTC)
Oh my gosh Helayne...I'm so sorry to hear about your condition :( Please get better soon! I'll be thinking of you.

P.S. I don't like eggs either ;P
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your well wishes
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[User Picture]From: gacktisgod
2009-06-27 10:09 am (UTC)
Ow, IVs... I feel you on that. Can't stand 'em. Good luck to you! ^__^
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:12 pm (UTC)
Thanks~!
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[User Picture]From: eightnoon
2009-06-27 01:57 pm (UTC)
oh no! I'm sorry to hear you're having a difficult time. god, i can't believe you gotta wait 12 hour... *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:14 pm (UTC)
I've had 12 hour waits before - there always seems to be people way sicker than me in the ER, so it's hard to get impatient Hugs to you & the jellybean
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[User Picture]From: eightnoon
2009-06-28 01:40 pm (UTC)
you're so strong, helayne. FIGHT!
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[User Picture]From: angelic_candy
2009-06-27 02:32 pm (UTC)
I wish I wouldn't have to find your entries on my flist, having to read that you feel that terrible again and again...
Really, my thoughts and prayers are with you and I'm wishing you all the best. I wish there'd be more I could do for you than to do "only" that.
Feel hugged, sweety!
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-27 02:40 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the hugs -

I'm feeling much better than I was before being admitted - sometimes I debate about posting the entries because I'm such a frequent flyer in the hospital ^^;; - but it's a good way for me to keep track of when things happened...... hopefully I can throw enough annoying spam around to distract my fl for a bit ^.~
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[User Picture]From: angelic_candy
2009-07-26 04:54 pm (UTC)
Omg, it took me a long time to answer this one. But I want to get things straight... You know, by no means did I want to say you should post less about hospital stays or the like. I don't feel spammed by it at all. I just said I don't enjoy reading it, because it means you're not feeling fine - and that's what I really dislike about it. Because I want you to feel good, you know?! *smiles and hugs you softly* I so wish for you to be fine you know.
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[User Picture]From: hellocobweb
2009-06-28 12:13 am (UTC)
Ow. Owowowowow... Did I mention ouch? I'm so very sorry, Helayne.

And my sympathies on the eggs, too. As a kid, I got so very burned-out on eggs in all their multiple semi-edible incarnations. One day when I was about seven, I'd had just that much more than I could take, and I pushed my plate away. Turning to my mother, I said, "Sorry, I just can't eat another egg."

She looked at me in the way that mothers look at their kids when trying to decide whether to negotiate, or just murder outright. "Well, look at it this way... you like dinosaurs, right?"

"Yeah."

"They ate eggs all the time."

"Yes, mom. And they're all dead."

I don't think I was required to eat another egg ever since.
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-06-28 12:56 am (UTC)
hahahaha brilliant~!

hugs to you & Sophie =^.^=
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[User Picture]From: pimpinhyde
2009-07-01 06:55 pm (UTC)
what are the nodules? ungggck. yuck. i wish you could get out of there for good and get back to good health. i hate that you have been suffering through this annoying circumstance and pain for so long. its really rediculous, but hey, i don't need to tell you that.

I got here not quite a week ago but i still trying to settle in really. we had company and more company and then the fam left for a week. I immediately started in on my new job of babysitting 9 yr. old twins. Everything seems fine so far (makes me appreciate how smart my sisters were)- they are pretty respectful, but like mini-teenagers who like to test you and argue. e.e'

i had to leave my monitor at home cuz its one of those huge old things and i couldn't fit it in my car, so hopefully dad is going to try to help me find a good deal on a flatscreen.

been feeling a little down with a cold, and i know i'm not staying hydrated because the water doesn't taste good, but i need to quit being a baby and just suck it up, literally.

I'll talk to you again soon i hope. please feel good! i love you and miss you~

think of you always ♥
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[User Picture]From: tsuki_626
2009-10-18 08:49 am (UTC)
oh wow, you had to do that nuclear egg test too! i like eggs, but NOT those. i have an ileostomy, no colon, and that was god-awful crap on its final journey.

dear woman, you have been thru a veritable hell these last 3 years, haven't you? ok, i admit this is one of those nights i can't sleep and i'm perusing past journal entries. i was hoping i'd get sleepy, not from boredom, but often the act of just sitting here will relax me enough. not tonight. i know these are past instances of trouble, but they still make me cringe just thinking of having to enter the hospital so often and knowing from both sides of the patient/staff divide just how screwed your life can become IN clinical settings.

do you find that the staff will often leave you somewhat to your own resources due to your familiarity with procedures? or do they know how delicate the balance is and give you proper attention? i tend to get the former, even if there's no mention of my own clinical experience. and i had to do the same for my mother the last 4 years she was alive. what folks don't always realize is that when you are sick with an acute flare or other illness, you just want someone to take care of you for a while so you can rest and heal and not have to do every little thing. sigh...

sorry to get morose there. ^^
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[User Picture]From: nepenthes59
2009-10-18 01:57 pm (UTC)
You really are a kindred spirit~!

In the early days of my hospital stays, I was really pretty sick & often in intensive care, so I received a high level of nurse attention.

Lately though - it seems to depend on the nurse as to how much they leave me on my own.

just how screwed your life can become IN clinical settings I agree - my worse experience was at a place sub acute care. I was still pretty sick but most of the patients were really critically ill & I was ignored because I wasn't on a ventilator & I could get out of bed. My roommate died & my health nose dived for the 2 short weeks I was there
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[User Picture]From: tsuki_626
2009-10-23 08:15 am (UTC)
sorry i was so late replying. i'm way behind atm. ha! i just realized this was originally posted on my b-day. i hate to see it was a lousey day for you this year. was for me too, though different reasons.

kindred spirit-yeah, pretty much.:) i don't know about you, but having 1st the crohn's and 2 of its best buddies, a sero-negative type of arthritis and erythema nodosa, for at least 33 years has given me a very warped sense of humor, among other gifts. not to mention all the little things that have sprung up in their wake during that time. gahhhh! >.<

i understand about the care level. on my surgeries, they stuck close. and it depends on what has been required. some things that i used to have to do for patients who would be in sick, like stoma care, i get left on my own for. which is cool if i'm up to dealing with it. was pretty rough when i had rt rotator cuff repair and release of a frozen shoulder. that arm just wasn't functional and i'm rt handed. here's how my luck runs, i had tickets to go see U2 with my daughter for her b-day the day AFTER my surgery. (of course i had the tickets for months) i got to go home, because i was going to do rehab outpatient. but there was no way for me to attend with my arm strapped to my chest and the amount of pain killers i was on. nice time to find out you can't take Oxycontin or any oxycodone derivatives. XP

that was the 3rd time i missed a U2 concert due to surgery and when i finally went, i was on some meds that left me not even remembering the show. so i was damn determined Lane & i would make it to VAMPS this summer, even though it was hard on both of us. i didn't get to go up front, but i made it through. may not get that chance again, y'know? i was sorry to know you didn't get to go this year, but hopefully next time will find you in good health again.

we have to hang on to hope, no matter how abysmal we feel or how bleak it all seems. i know i've been in the black pit a great deal this year, but i try to come online and immerse myself to get my mind off the realities. i'm sure you know whereof i speak. for the life of me, i cannot decide which is harder to deal with, severe acute illness or long drawn out chronic ailments that suck your will away. not that it matters, as one can have both and really go thru hell. i guess i just grab those moments when things are in a haphazard type of balance and make the most of them.

ok, sorry if i got long-winded there. it's one of those issues i constantly battle, also the desire to just open up and let it all out, which i just can't grant myself the freedom to do. huhn, see? there i go again. hope today is a better day for both of us. i should probably go try to sleep. ^ ^)/
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